Getting married is stressful. Even the more laid-back kind of weddings have their nervous factors. Planning and preparing for this big day can be one of the most taxing events on the emotions and on the relationship. But, if you are the groom, there are ways to reduce the tension, not only for yourself, but for both you and your bride-to-be.
The Bride's Pride
The important thing to understand is that the bride takes a lot of pride in the wedding. Yes, you are in it, but it's her day. All eyes will most likely be on her, and she knows this. So in her opinion, if the wedding is sloppy, she will be sloppy. This is why she puts so much effort into making thinks the best, prettiest, nicest, they could be.
Roles Over Time
Traditionally, the role of the groom seems to be to take care of the "business" part of getting married. This includes paying the DJ/clergy/bar tab, or other smaller fees, getting the marriage license, and the honeymoon. The bigger tasks are usually the bride's ring, and gifts for the bride and for his attendants.
These traditional tasks haven't gone away. Along with these factors, the groom can do other things to help ease the stress of the planning time for his bride-to-be and for himself. Though they may seem small, they go.
- Help gather addresses for the invitations. Then make the extra effort to make sure they get done correctly by picking them up from the printers.
- Get the song lists together. Help pick the songs for first dances and make sure the DJ isn't going to be playing the kind of stuff you were listening to in high-school. Extra bonus if you choose material that isn't heard at every other wedding you've been to.
- Plan the rehearsal dinner and the gifts that go along with it. Decide where it's going to be,who's going, and transportation from the place you have the rehearsal to the dinner.
- Pick out the clothes for the groom's attendees. The colors and styles have to be a compromise between the bride and groom, but actually going to the men's shop and getting the sizes for the attendees is all up to the groom.
What the groom really needs to keep in mind when planing for a wedding is to do any of the little, or sometimes big, tasks that help alleviate the stress off the bride. The amount of work put into the wedding should be equal, even though often times it's not.
This is a big and important day for the bride and she will be putting a lot of herself into the planning of it. By going the extra mile to cover details, finalize plans, and make accommodations, the groom will be earning appreciation from his bride-to-be and sincerely helping her lower the stress level.
David Schauer - I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in English Education from Illinois State University. I also have a minor in Writing. More to come...
